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Having illness is something that each and everyone wouldnt want including me....however, i was born with this inherited skin disease known as eczema!! Eversince 7 years old, my skin begin to show the symptoms of eczema....well it does not really affect me much during my school days until i enter university...Flare ups are bashing on me, skin itchy, red, burning pain, dry....causing me a WHOLE LOT of mental and emotional distress...sometimes i wish i was dead!! Fzew weeks back, my skin got very worse, i think my whole body looks like a tree bark!! With scratch marks, scars, wounds and hyperpigmentation, now both of my hands are involved...

I find it hard to walk, i find it hard to bend my knee and hand, i find it hard to pray, i find it hard to sleep when the whole leg is itchy and full of burning pain...i tried many creams, antihistamines even steroid injection...but all these offers temporary relief...I AM SO DESPERATE for EVERLASTING HEALING.....only God can provide this!! Lord, i dun wan my eczema to just go off just a few weeks, i want permanent healing....Please sustain me during this time.....no matter how pain or how stress i become i will still choose to worship and trust u..........no matter how hard no matter how itchy and uncomfortable i am, i will still have faith in u.......just sustain me and heal me................................

I need answers

I got many questions in mind about church, cg etc...whoever read this please leave some opinions to enlighten me as well as Bible Verses to support it..thanks

Q1. What is actually the main priority to focus in a cg? Spiritual growth or numerical growth?

Q2. Does the growth in numbers in the cg is equal to the growth of their spirituality as well?

Q3. If you know your leader is misleading in certain matters, should we just continue to keep quiet and obey? *Bible says must respect authority and kenot rebel against them* * BIble also says we should fear God but not man* So which one leh?

Q4. WHat would you think are the factors which will contribute to the growth of cg?

Q5. Do you agree that building each other spirituality takes time?

I

I am lost cox i dunno where i am standing in Christ

I am confused of what is Gods plan for me

I am discouraged and disappointed by the ppl ard me,

I am worried...

I am frustrated with myself

I am not a good cell grp leader...

I serve until it overwhelmed me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually..

I havent take my sabbath rest for months i think,

I just felt like quiting.....

How i wish i could just be a normal person....

Life's a choice

I have to repeat my forensic exam on 23rd March...

I have to prepare datas for the two houseman (prp) project..

I have to prepare for the sharing this coming cg on fri...

I am now on my last day of oncall week..

Life's a choice. We make choices every second. Choices of what to wear, what to eat, what to do next, next book to read,.....The choices we make can be either a positive one or a negative one...

I am overwhelmed with many "things"...Sumhow i felt burden...Two choices i am faced with...is to either to indulge in my worries and getting depress all about it OR to trust in God and surrender all my work into His hands....

Just feeling

overwhelmed....
with responsibilities...
with expectations....
disappointments...
physical sickness....

My spirit is fighting hards against my flesh...

No strength...

There are times when i really felt like escaping, but i knew You put me at such place at such timing for Your purpose to be fulfilled....

I want to do it by Your strength, by Your grace..

Because Your's is sufficient for me...

New Toy

I need a PDA phone....

HTC DIAMOND

* with higher resolution but expensive*

or

HTC TOUCH-DUAL!!??

HTC gadgets are not bad...Have been readin good reviews bout their products...

But then eventually,

PDA phones oftens crashed in a year time..if lucky enuff prob 2 years..if lucky la..!!

Was thinking about Blackberry phones....

Hahahahha...

KEDAI FARMASI!!

Yup!! Itz my 3rd week here..kinda enjoying it...cox this is where i am able to put my mouth to full use - TALK!!! Haha...I luv to talk...thats y i luv to counsel patients...:P The colleagues here in Kedai are very nice...Though we houseman made mistakes, nevertheless they still give us words of encouragement..Thumbs up to kak Ruby,Kak Atie, Normah n Kak Ani..Working here in Kedai can really make me loose weight...hahah...cox i have to walk a lot filling in prescriptions and counseling etc...One more thing, i even know how to play with the cash register too...itz kinda fun swiping the credit cards..*i sound like sooo ulu now*...

Being here really put my patience into test as well, especially when there are rude customers...kinda understand their frustrations lar...Well, being sick is already so frustrating, but when they found out the price of their medications, they LAGI FRUSTRATED!!! So in the end, we are the tempat to letak their frustrations and anger lor...some will complain, some will just scold you, and throw paper bags right in front of you..fuhhh.sabar...sabar..

I recalled a patient which kinda saddens me la where there's this pakcik who could not afford a RM12 medication!!...He was trying to dig his wallet for the Rm1 notes, but then tak cukup duit.Some pay their medications until not much left for taxi money....Well he is not the only one, everyday there will be some patients who would go home without medication just becox they could not afford them....how i wish i could really give the pakcik more discount..unfortunately i can't, cox i would go against the hosp policy... and if other patients found out, they would run after me!!!!Habisla!!

Neway, this year will be a great year...New resolutions, new hopes, new goals to achieved, spiritually and etc...One of my new resolutions is to reduce frequency of late nite supper...Haha..I pray that this year will be a year of breakthrough for me, my family, GEPC and my friends...I pray that our walk with Him will continue to be strengthen and the passion for Him and His people will continue to burn as long as we live...Woohoo!!! AMEN!!