Life's a choice

I have to repeat my forensic exam on 23rd March...

I have to prepare datas for the two houseman (prp) project..

I have to prepare for the sharing this coming cg on fri...

I am now on my last day of oncall week..

Life's a choice. We make choices every second. Choices of what to wear, what to eat, what to do next, next book to read,.....The choices we make can be either a positive one or a negative one...

I am overwhelmed with many "things"...Sumhow i felt burden...Two choices i am faced with...is to either to indulge in my worries and getting depress all about it OR to trust in God and surrender all my work into His hands....

Just feeling

overwhelmed....
with responsibilities...
with expectations....
disappointments...
physical sickness....

My spirit is fighting hards against my flesh...

No strength...

There are times when i really felt like escaping, but i knew You put me at such place at such timing for Your purpose to be fulfilled....

I want to do it by Your strength, by Your grace..

Because Your's is sufficient for me...

New Toy

I need a PDA phone....

HTC DIAMOND

* with higher resolution but expensive*

or

HTC TOUCH-DUAL!!??

HTC gadgets are not bad...Have been readin good reviews bout their products...

But then eventually,

PDA phones oftens crashed in a year time..if lucky enuff prob 2 years..if lucky la..!!

Was thinking about Blackberry phones....

Hahahahha...

KEDAI FARMASI!!

Yup!! Itz my 3rd week here..kinda enjoying it...cox this is where i am able to put my mouth to full use - TALK!!! Haha...I luv to talk...thats y i luv to counsel patients...:P The colleagues here in Kedai are very nice...Though we houseman made mistakes, nevertheless they still give us words of encouragement..Thumbs up to kak Ruby,Kak Atie, Normah n Kak Ani..Working here in Kedai can really make me loose weight...hahah...cox i have to walk a lot filling in prescriptions and counseling etc...One more thing, i even know how to play with the cash register too...itz kinda fun swiping the credit cards..*i sound like sooo ulu now*...

Being here really put my patience into test as well, especially when there are rude customers...kinda understand their frustrations lar...Well, being sick is already so frustrating, but when they found out the price of their medications, they LAGI FRUSTRATED!!! So in the end, we are the tempat to letak their frustrations and anger lor...some will complain, some will just scold you, and throw paper bags right in front of you..fuhhh.sabar...sabar..

I recalled a patient which kinda saddens me la where there's this pakcik who could not afford a RM12 medication!!...He was trying to dig his wallet for the Rm1 notes, but then tak cukup duit.Some pay their medications until not much left for taxi money....Well he is not the only one, everyday there will be some patients who would go home without medication just becox they could not afford them....how i wish i could really give the pakcik more discount..unfortunately i can't, cox i would go against the hosp policy... and if other patients found out, they would run after me!!!!Habisla!!

Neway, this year will be a great year...New resolutions, new hopes, new goals to achieved, spiritually and etc...One of my new resolutions is to reduce frequency of late nite supper...Haha..I pray that this year will be a year of breakthrough for me, my family, GEPC and my friends...I pray that our walk with Him will continue to be strengthen and the passion for Him and His people will continue to burn as long as we live...Woohoo!!! AMEN!!

That's all He need from us...

Was lying on my bed asking God...

Me: So God, Christmas coming ady, so what present U want?
God: I just want your heart, thats all...

Unfortunately for the past years of Christmas celebrations, the true meaning of Christmas somehow seems to fade away behind all the feastings, parties, santa claus, christmas presents...Christmas is the time of celebration...but what is this celebration all about?
Is about the birth of Jesus Christ, a good news for everyone...a Saviour of our souls were born...It is time to focus on the cross, and what Christmas is all about...Is ALL about JESUS!!!

HAPPIE BURPDAY JESUS!!!

WHere?

Wheres my passion?

Wheres my determination?

Wheres my confidence?

Wheres my boldness?

WHERE?? WHERE? WHEREEE..??

So lost...

....................................

Come Holy Spirit, fall afresh on me,

Fill m e with Your Power...

......................................

Lord please remove the stress from me,

You say O Lord that we should not worry,

for worryin does not add a single hour to our life,

i know that every day You will watch over me,

however i felt that i didnt put much trust in You,

I'm sorry...i have let the fear get hold of me,

Lord, please remove this burden away from me...

Much more than I could bear

What could I say!?? The life and death of the patient is in my hands..Every word I said, every action i do, every decision made counts!!....Everyday I come to work with a heavy heart, tired body and mind....Darts of pressure are firing from every corner,...*Sigh heavily*...I felt like running away...So overwhelming...so overwhelmin.............Sometimes i think that i myself is exaggerating, taking things too seriously...what could i say??? It is my job!!! God, please sustain me...the stress is too overwhelming...my knees are weaker n weaker...

Gonna........

anytime....!